Twists of Fate
by BE-A-TLE
Summary: A three chapter update, this is the end folks!
1. Fear

Twists of Fate  
  
Chapter 1- Fear (Tim's POV)  
  
Author Notes- Okay, so its up to you guys if there's more of this story or not. See I never liked the and everything worked out for the best stuff, so I always seem to warp things. (I know, I'm messed up) everytime I see the Longest Day I think, what if it hadn't turned out so well? And this idea has been rolling around for a while so I finally decided to jot it down and post it. Any mistakes are mine as I don't have a beta reader for this area. I hope you like it.  
  
Randy sits across from me and I can tell his mind isn't on the scrabble game. Not that I could blame him. The phone rings and Jill answers quickly.   
  
"Hello?" There was a brief pause. "Oh, Al. Look Al, Tim and I are fine. Please don't call here ever again." She hung up and shook her head. "What is wrong with that man? Where did he get this insane idea about me and a milkman?!"  
  
"He spends to much time at the state fair." I reply. The phone rang again then.  
  
"Al..." Jill started.  
  
"Tell him he's fired." I broke in.  
  
"Please don't -- Oh, hi Doctor Kaufman... Yeah, huh?..." I watch her face change and I know. "Yes, I understand, thank you."  
  
"Honey?"  
  
"Randy, you need to go in tomorrow and get the lump removed." He nods, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Jill starts in again. "Don't worry though, there's still a really good chance its nothing. Just a lump. They just won't be able to tell until they take it out."  
  
"Yeah, don't worry, it'll be nothing." I say watching my son shift his weight. "I'll call your school and let them know you won't be there."  
  
"What are we going to tell the boys?" Jill breaks in suddenly.  
  
"I'll tell them." Randy speaks for the first time since we've gotten the news. "I'll tell them after dinner."  
  
"Honey, you don't have to...."  
  
"Mom, I need to tell them." We share a look over his head and I nod slightly.  
  
"All right honey. I'll go up and start getting dinner ready." Jill leaves and I sit with Randy for a minute.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean like you said, its probably nothing." There's something in his voice that tells me he doesn't believe it, but now is not the time for me to try and persuade him. "Dad?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think I could be alone for a little bit?"  
  
"Sure." As I leave I can't believe this is happening and I slowly trudge up the stairs. I'm at the door when I can hear the scrabble pieces being slammed to the ground.  
  
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Dinner had been tense and I think Mark and Brad knew something was up before Randy asked to talk to them. I honestly didn't mean to eavesdrop, but once I heard Randy start talking, I can't get my feet to move. I'm hidden behind one of the walls so they can't see me, but I can see and hear them.  
  
"So what's up?" Brad asks.  
  
"Tomorrow, I have to go to the hospital." Randy blurts out.  
  
"What why?" Brad sounds upset, and I can understand why, he and Randy have always been close.  
  
"The extra blood they took, the doctor thought she felt a lump, I have to go get it taken out tomorrow."  
  
"What does that mean?" Mark asks in a small voice.  
  
"Well it could be nothing." Randy replies.  
  
"Or?" Brad prompts.  
  
"There's a slight chance it could be cancer." And as long as I've been alive, I have never heard anything as horrible as the silence that over took the room.  
  
"I'm sure its nothing." Brad said in a strained voice.  
  
"Yeah, I mean....its gotta be nothing." Mark agrees. Randy doesn't speak.  
  
"We'll make sure to wait for you here at home." Brad says. "Will they let you come home afterwards?" Randy shrugs. "Well either way, we'll see you tomorrow."   
  
"Okay." Randy says softly. "I just wanted to be the one to tell you guys what was going on. I-I think I'm gonna go to bed now." I quickly move to make sure they don't realize that I'm there. Randy walks by and goes into his room. If he saw me, he didn't let on. I waited for a ten count and walked in Brad and Mark haven't moved and neither acknowledge my presence. This was going to be hard on the entire family. No doubt about that. 


	2. Waiting

Disclaimer- What a surprise, they don't belong to me.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to Amy and Indigo Haze for reviewing, and yes I plan on writing from everyone's point of view. I hope this chapter is acceptable, and thank you again for reviewing.   
  
Chapter 2- Waiting (Brad's POV)  
  
I wouldn't be able to tell you what went on in school today. All day all I could think of was Randy. He's my little brother, I'm suppose to look out for him. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. Despite mom's reassurances that he'll be fine, I somehow feel its gonna get worse before it gets better. I've taken to pacing now, not really sure what else I could be doing. The phone rings and I more or less make a dive for it.  
  
"Hello?! No........we're happy with our long distance." I hang up feeling a mix of emotions. I can see Wilson outside and after a moment of debating, I snatch up the cordless phone and head outside.  
  
"Hidey-ho Taylor Teen."  
  
"Hey Wilson."  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"This waiting is driving me insane." Wilson peers over the fence at me, I suddenly realize he might not even know, but the way he's looking at me tells me he does.  
  
"Sometimes waiting is the hardest part."  
  
"Yeah, no kidding." I mutter. I'm pacing the backyard now. Wilson says something, I'm not sure of, some proverb I assume and I just nod when prompted too. I can't think of anything else other than the fact of how unfair this is.   
  
"Brad?" Wilson calls. I look up at him. "You'll see, things will get better." I nod and resist the urge to roll my eyes when the phone rings again.  
  
"Hello?....No Al, my dad isn't here He- Oh." I was silent for a moment. "Yeah, no, what are you talking about? We don't have a milkman. No, I don't know why he told you that, look, I'll ask him to call when he gets home okay? Yeah, all right, bye."  
  
"Milkman?" Wilson cocks an eyebrow and I can only shrug. Why won't someone call? Why does this torturous waiting have to last so long. Mark is somewhere in the house. He came home barely said hello and high tailed it up to his room. The phone rings.   
  
"Hello? Mom......" Wilson peers at me in concern. "Oh No..... no.....yeah....okay, bye." Numbly I hang up the phone.  
  
"Brad?" I look up at Wilson. "What's wrong?" I don't think I can bring myself to say it. I don't think I can say the words.   
  
"I-" I can't. It turns out I wouldn't have too.  
  
"He's got cancer, doesn't he." I turn and face Mark in the doorway his face is of indifference. I nod mutely and Mark stands in the doorway for a minute longer, then silently turns and walks away.  
  
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Mom and dad brought Randy home and he went directly into his room.  
  
"Its very treatable." Mom was saying as she was fixing dinner. I sit up at the counter and watch her prepare the food. Dad went out to talk to Wilson, I wasn't sure where Mark was.  
  
"Do you think I could go talk to Randy?" I ask and Mom nods. I quickly hop down from the chair and descend into my brothers room.  
  
"Hey." Randy says as he sees me enter his room.  
  
"Hey." Its awkward and I think the awkwardness bothers both of us. Normally we can talk and goof around, but now there's nothing we seem to have to say. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Did it hurt?"  
  
"The Biopsy?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"No, they numbed my throat....it was weird, the needles was really small." I shudder at the throat of a needle in his throat.  
  
"Dinners almost ready."  
  
"Okay. I'm not really all that hungry though." Can't blame him. He seems so guarded, like he wants to be upset, but he won't let himself. He has every right to be upset, we're all upset. But then I think of Mark, and the look that seemed almost to be indifference when we realized it was cancer. And now I'm angry that he could be so uncaring. I'd have to have a talk with him later. Right now I need to help Randy in anyway I can. 


	3. Runt of the Litter

Disclaimer- Still don't belong to me.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to everyone who reviewed. It means alot to me. I hope this chapter is okay, and Chapter 4 should be up within a day or so. My apologizes if you think anyone of OOC  
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Chapter 3- Runt of the Litter (Marks POV)  
  
I've always been told I'm the runt of our family. And as much as I hate the phrase, if anyone is the runt of the litter, its Randy. He's always been the ones with the health problems. He has allergies, and Asthma, he gets bronchitis a lot because of the asthma. Plus he's short. Wait, this makes it sound like I hate my brother, which I don't. Sure Randy gives me a hard time, but he's my older brother, he's suppose to. Right now though, I'm really angry. Why I can't explain, but right now I'm so furious with Randy. I know its not his fault, but I can't believe this is happening. I feel horrific now because I'm angry for something he doesn't have any control over. Maybe I should just talk to him. Mom's calling for dinner, oh what a fun night it'll be tonight at the Taylor dinner table. I right myself from my position on the bed and shuffle downstairs.  
  
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I had planned on talking to Randy after dinner which had been particularly tense that evening. Hardly anyone spoke and when someone did it was usually mom pleading with Randy to eat something. When I went down to Randy's room, Brad was there too, and he didn't look like he'd be leaving any time soon. I'm ashamed at how bitter I am at that. Part of me can't help but wonder if they would do the same for me, and I know they would, which makes me all the angrier.  
  
"I have to go in for a body scan tomorrow, just to make sure the cancer hasn't spread. Ya know anything to see me naked." Randy jokes lightly.  
  
"How can you make jokes?" I blurt out, it sound harsh even to me. Randy looks away and Brad's glaring daggers, but once I'm started, I can't stop. "I mean Jesus Randy, not everything has to be a big joke!"  
  
"Hey!" Brad yells.   
  
"What, am I the only one who thinks he might die?!"  
  
"You heard mom its usually very treatable!"  
  
"And what if it spread."  
  
"Guys, please....." Randy's getting upset, I can tell. He makes this face when he gets upset. Like his thinking on whether or not he should be upset.  
  
"Mark, why did you come down here?!"  
  
"I had to talk to Randy, but I -"  
  
"I think you've talked to him enough." Brad snaps attempting to grab my arm. I yank it away and he looks pissed. I flinch internally.   
  
"I don't need you to tell me if I've talked to him long enough or not, He's my brother too!"  
  
"You would never know it! When we got the news, you just went back into your room, you looked like you didn't care, you couldn't be inconvinced with the news!" That hurt, so I struck back.  
  
"I care! I just can't be upset around you because the second I show any emotion your all over me!" Everything seems to be at a stand still and Brad and I continue to glare angrily at each other. There's not sound in the room.   
  
"Get out." Brad and I seem to blink at the same time and turn to Randy. "Both of you." I think that is what surprised us both. He wanted both of us to leave, not just me.   
  
"Randy...." Brad starts.  
  
"Please, both of you go." There's a hitch in his voice. I know that hitch, he's trying not to cry.  
  
"Randy I'm sorry we just-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about this any longer." I can tell Brad's torn. Does he leave like Randy asks or does he stay. I know he feels that way because that's how I feel too.  
  
"Randy, wait, I didn't mean to upset you." I begin feeling horrible for doing this to him when he already has so much to think about. Randy won't make eye contact and he seems kinda distant all of a sudden.  
  
"Come on Mark, lets do as he asks." Brad says suddenly guiding me towards the door. Our amomosity towards each other slightly faded as we leave our brother behind. I turn to look at him one last time to see him curl into the fetal position on his bed. I wrench out of Brad's grasp when we get upstairs and we resume glaring angrily at each other before stomping off in different directions. Brad goes into the backyard and I assume he'll work on ball handling, I storm past Mom and Dad and go up to my room. They can both tell something happened, but to their credit, neither said anything. Mom just let out a sad sigh . 


	4. Thought I Was A Good Person

Disclaimer- Once more, they do not belong to me.  
  
Author Notes- Here's chapter four. I hope you enjoy it! And remember reviews are always enjoyed, but never required.  
  
Chapter 4-Thought I Was A Good Person. (Randys POV)  
  
I always thought I was a relativly good person. I mean, I don't drink ,or smoke, or do drugs. I won't even eat meat. I was wrong though. Everything I did to Mark, bad. Anything mean or rude thing I said to anyone, another strike. This must be my pay back. I try and concentrate on the fact that its probably just on my thyroid and it hasn't spread. But I did some research earlier and this type of cancer spreads quickly. What if it spread? Mark's question rang in my ears. I don't want to think about this, but no matter what I try, I can't think of anything else. Chances are if it did spread, the first place it would go is my throat. If it got past there, the Lymph nodes would be next, followed by lungs. I draw my legs up a little closer and try to tuck myself into the smallest ball possible. Why can't I stop thinking about this? I won't let myself cry. I came close to it when Brad and Mark were fighting, but now when I'm alone, I still won't let myself go. I wish Brad and Mark wouldn't act such ways around me. I mean Brad acts like he's afraid to leave my side or I might die when he's gone. Mark seems so angry that I think I should just let him yell at me and get it out of his system. Then there's Mom and Dad. Mom cried when she got the news, I wasn't sure what to do for her then. Dad, the look on his face, I'll never be able to forget it. It was like he had to relieve something horrible and I can only hope he wasn't thinking of his Dad. I just sat there like a lump, no expression, no emotion, just nothing. I can feel tears prick at the back of my eyes. No, I won't cry. Crying means something's wrong. All I have to do is get part of my thyroid removed and then get a little treatment. No big deal. 'Unless its spread.' How come that traitorous voice has to pop up when I'm just trying to make the best out of a possibly bad situation. I feel really nauseated thinking about the fact that it could spread. What would happen if it did? I think I'm about to be sick. I close my eyes and try to sleep. I have a feeling sleep would be elusive tonight.  
  
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The body scan wasn't so bad. Took a little while, and the lights made me a little dizzy, but all in all it wasn't so bad. Mom waited for me outside, Dad went to work, though he told me if I wanted he would go with me. I didn't want everyone making a big fuss over me. Right now we're waiting for the results. We've been waiting a good hour and Mom's gripping my hand so tightly its beginning to hurt. I would say something but I don't want to do anything else that might hurt her. Dr. Hayden stepped into the room then. His face is completly neutral. I hate that, I just wish you could read it on their faces. However that bad feeling has settled in my stomach and I try to push it away.  
  
"I'm sorry." He says simply. I can feel every hope I have flitter away.   
  
"Where?" I suppose I zoned out then, which was probably a really dumb thing to do. I did make out throat however. Mom's hand tightens if that's possible and I feel my muscles spazum in protest. The car ride. I don't even remember leaving the hospital. Wow, I must really be out of it.  
  
"Do you want to stop and get something to eat?" Mom asks softly.  
  
"No thank you."   
  
"I'll fix you something when we get home then." Mom's driving home slowly and by looking at her I can tell this is killing her. As we pull up to the house I hear mom murmur something.  
  
"What?" I ask quietly.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"I- I don't know yet." She nods and leads me into the house. No one else is home. Dad must be at work, though I think he really wanted to be with me today, and Brad and Mark are still at school. Mom sits down at the table and starts looking over some brochures and I stare emptily in the refridgarator looking for something to drink. Nothing looks very good to me right now. Finally I pull out the apple juice and start pouring. Its then I think I truly had the reality of this situation slam into me. I'm trying to fight back a barrage of emotion all at once and its not working. The tears come faster than I can stop them and once they started, they won't be stopped. I left out a small sniffle and suddenly there's mom holding me like when I was little. I finally let myself cry.  
  
Okay guys, it may be a while before I can get chapter 5 out. I have to go get my wisdom teeth yanked out, so I might be gone for a while. I'll try and get chapter five out as soon as I can though! 


	5. Just Broke Down

Disclaimer- Not mine.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. Sorry it took so long to get this out, recovery took a bit longer than expected. Hope this is up to everyone's standards. Also, Amy, thank you so much for your kind words, and Tinabedina, Its so good to hear from you! We havne't talked in a REALLY long time. Hope to see ya online soon!  
  
Chapter 5- Just Broke Down (Jill's POV)  
  
He's crying and I can't do anything but hold him. He's my little boy, and there's not thing I can do for him. I can feel his frame shake under my arms as he cries. I always though Randy was more like me than Tim. I mean, he's not interested in tools like Brad and Mark, or the hotrod. He's a middle child just like me. I can't believe this is happening. He's quieted and I feel him sniffle against me.  
  
"It's all right honey." I murmur as he pulls away.  
  
"Sorry mom." He says turning away from me.  
  
"Don't apologize." I reply watching him wipe his hand across his eyes. "You just let it out."  
  
"I'm going to go down to my room." I nod and watch him go. There's not much I can do for him, and I imagine he just wants to be left alone now. I go back to the table and begin to go through the pamphlets. If he was going to have to go through this, then I was gonna learn as much as I possibly could about it.  
  
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Once everyone was home and the news had been spread we decided we should do something to try and take our minds off everything.  
  
"Why don't we go out to eat?" Mark suggests.  
  
"Polish food!" Tim cries immediately. I doubt anyone was surprised by that.  
  
"Maybe we could just order in." Brad remarks his gaze zipping quickly to Randy, and then back to the table.  
  
"Pizza?" I recommend.  
  
"That sounds good." Tim agrees. He and the boys began to argue what they were going to get. Well with the exception of Randy, who's sitting quietly at the end. I don't think Tim or the boys noticed when he quietly got up and went into his room. When the pizza debate was over, Brad and Mark both glanced at me in question, as Tim dialed the Pizza place.   
  
"Went to his room." I reply, busying myself with getting the dishes out. The two boys tromp down to the basement and Tim hangs up the phone.   
  
"So, what exactly is gonna happen?" I sigh and turn to look at him.  
  
"I don't know. It spread to his throat, and it showed signs of beginning to grow in the lymph nodes. But the doctor said that after part of the thyroid is removed he'll have to do chemo-therapy to try and kill the other strains." My voice cracked and Tim comes over and hugs me tightly.  
  
"He'll be all right, he's a strong kid, and he's got the support of his family."  
  
"Yeah, but what if....."  
  
"There will be no if." Tim broke in, a determined note to his voice. I pull away and attempt to finish putting the silverware out. "How did he take it?" I flinch at the question.  
  
"First shock, and then he finally just broke down." Tim nods. "I just can't believe this is happening."  
  
"I know, but everything will turn out." I nod and sit down at the counter. Tim pulls up beside me and sighs. "So you'll never believe what happened at Tool Time today." Its an obvious ploy to get my mind on something other than what's happening.  
  
"Really, what happened?" Tim launches into the description of how anything that could go wrong, did go wrong on the show. I nod and listen half heartedly as we wait for the pizza to come. I'm worried about my son. He hasn't said a word since his breakdown in the kitchen. We'd have to have a talk later, but now I'll concentrate on Tim, and wait for the pizza to come.  
  
Okay, I'll try and get chapter 6 out soon. I cherish reviews, but as always, their are not required. 


	6. Not Talking

Disclaimer- Not mine.  
  
Author Notes- Okay, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! That means alot to me! I finally found inspiration to write, so here we are! Hope you enjoy!  
  
Chapter 6- Not Talking (Brad's POV)  
  
Randy won't really talk to us. He wouldn't talk when he got home, he didn't talk when Mark and I went into his room before dinner, he didn't talk during dinner, and he's not talking to me now. I'm sitting on his computer chair and he's sprawled out on his bed, he's staring at the ceiling, and he looks to be very deep in thought. I'm not sure what I can say, or why I came down here again. I guess I just wanted to be there just in case he felt like talking, which seemed highly unlikely.  
  
"Why don't you just ask me." His voice in the silence startled me.  
  
"What?"   
  
"You want to know how I'm doing." I smile sheepishly and he pushes himself up onto his elbows and looks at me.  
  
"Yeah, I do."  
  
"I'm not sure." He replies his eyes fluttering back to the ceiling. "I mean, this isn't good Brad, this is bad, and I'm not sure how I feel yet."  
  
"Well, that's okay." I reply, unsure of what I should say.  
  
"I guess I feel numb."  
  
"I probably would too. I really don't know what to do here Randy." He looks up at me and I chew my lower lip. "I mean I kinda feel like I'm older and I'm suppose to keep bad things from happening to you, I know I haven't done a great job of that, but do you understand what I mean?"  
  
"Yeah I understand. But this isn't some school kid trying to shove me into my locker, thanks for pulling me out of there by the way. This is serious Brad, and you can't keep me safe from this one, the only thing you can do is just be there."   
  
"So what's going to happen next?" I ask.  
  
"I'll get part of my thyroid removed and then start treatment." I nod.  
  
"Well, we'll all be here for you." And we fall back into silence. He lowers himself back down to his bed and stares at the ceiling. The oxymoron deafening silence suddenly comes to mind, and I think I finally understand what it means. Its silent in this room, but its deafening to the point where I'm getting antsy. I want to say something, anything, but I can't think of anything that doesn't sound dumb even in my head. I watch him, and he stares unblinking upwards.   
  
"What are you going to do about school?" I ask finally, I had to say something to break the unbearable silence.  
  
"I'm not sure yet. Mom and dad will have to decide I guess."  
  
"Maybe you'll get to be home schooled."  
  
"I don't know if I'd like that, who would teach me?"  
  
"Mom or dad I guess." He blinks.   
  
"Dad? Doubtful." I laugh and nod my head in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, not dad, all you'll learn is proverbs that he's messed up, and stuff about tools." We're quite again, and I don't like this tension I can feel. I'm worried and there's not much I can do about it, and he doesn't want to talk about this. And its all I can think of. I sigh and watch the ceiling with him, wondering what's keeping him so occupied. His gaze suddenly snaps over to me and his eye bore into mine.  
  
"Hey Brad?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you remember that year I broke my wrist?" I nod and he continues "And I told you it hurt so you pinched me really hard to make me forget about the pain in my wrist?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember that." I reply.  
  
"And it worked, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, it took your mind off your wrist."  
  
"Do you think you could do me a favor?" He asks softly.  
  
"Sure." I reply, wondering where he's going with this train of thought.  
  
"Could you pinch me really hard?" 


	7. Someone Smart, Someone Like Wilson

Disclaimer- Not mine. Wouldn't mind owning them, but I don't.  
  
Author Notes- Amy, It wasn't that I had writers block, as more of the lack of time, but this one, as you hoped, is in Tim's POV. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!  
  
Chapter 7- Someone Smart, Someone like Wilson. (Tim's POV)  
  
I needed to talk to someone, someone smart. I need to talk to Wilson. Slipping outside I think I can see him through the fence, but I'm not sure.  
  
"Hey Wilson?"  
  
"Hidey-Ho good neighbor."  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm just studying the stars." I look up at the night sky.  
  
"Can I talk to you?"   
  
"Of course good neighbor." He stands and turns to me. Good old reliable Wilson.   
  
"It spread." I don't have to say anything else, Wilson already knows and he's now peering at me over the fence.  
  
"I'm so sorry to hear that Tim." I nod mutely, taking a minute to try and gather my thoughts.  
  
"You know, I told Jill he'd be fine and he was strong and he'd have his family's support, but I'm not sure how we're gonna give him that support."  
  
"This is the through good times and bad times part of life Tim." Wilson replies.   
  
"I know, but I can't believe this. He asked me why this bad stuff always had to happen to him, and I told him that bad stuff happens to me all the time."  
  
"Tim, you cause it."  
  
"That's exactly what he said." We're quite for a minute. "I just don't know how to help him right now. Let alone the rest of the family."  
  
"I'm reminded of the Irish Proverb, You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind."  
  
"Huh?" Wilson laughs lightly.  
  
"It just means that you'll have to talk to your family and find out the best way to be there for each other." I nod and think that over.  
  
"Thanks Wilson."   
  
"Anytime good neighbor."  
  
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I walk down into Randy's room and slam my head against the pipe. "OW!" Damn that stupid pipe.  
  
"You okay?" Randy calls from within his room.  
  
"Yeah." I reply rubbing my head as I walk into Randy's room. "So, you wanna talk?"  
  
"Not really." He replies getting off his bed and turning his back to me.  
  
"Well can I talk?" He nods.  
  
"I know your upset, the whole family is, and we're not really sure what to do yet. But its like that Irish proverb, you can't field a turn over, if you forget your pillow."  
  
"What?" He asks, turning and looking at me.  
  
"Never mind, look, what I'm trying to say is we want to be here and support you, we just haven't figured out how to do it yet."  
  
"I know." He moves and sits down on the bed and I sit down beside him.  
  
"Your just going to go through a rough patch of life, and your mom and I, and even your brothers are gonna do everything we can to make it easier on you." I put my arm around his shoulders and pull him into a hug.   
  
"Dad?" His voice is slightly muffled by my shirt.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm not really numb anymore Dad, now I'm just really scared."  
  
"I know, we're all really scared. Its okay." He doesn't reply and he doesn't move, I just sit there with my arm around him for a long time. Its the only thing I can think of to do to provide even the slightest bit of comfort to my son, who desperately needs it. 


	8. It's What I Do

Disclaimer- Not Mine  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to everyone who reviews! And for those of you who look forward to updates, Chapter 9 will be out within the next two or three days.  
  
Chapter 8- Its What I Do (Wilsons POV)  
  
I'm the one who fixes the problems. I'm Wilson, its what I do. I'm not sure how to fix this one, because this problem isn't Tim blowing something up, or Jill snapping to quickly, or anything like that, this is their child being ill. That I cannot cure. I'd like to, oh how I'd like to make Randy well, but I can't. So far I've spoken to everyone in the Taylor household except Randy himself. Tim and Jill have both made regular visits to ask my opinion on something. Brad asked my advice on what he should do, even Mark has come to ask for my guidance. I'll stay in my yard, and I'll answer the questions, and I'll provide the best advice I can, but when it comes right down too it, for once I can't solve the problem. And I don't like that.  
  
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Brad and Randy come home from school cutting through the backyard like they always do. The chatter that usually follows them is absent today however.   
  
"Hey, I'll be in a minute." Randy calls and Brad nods as he enters the house. "Wilson?"  
  
"Hidey-ho Taylor Teen." I greet.   
  
"Can I talk to you?"   
  
"Of course." I watch as he hops up on a lawn chair so he can look at me as we speak. "What's on your mind?" He's quite for a while, and he his face is lined with worry and thought.  
  
"I'm going in to have part of my thyroid removed tomorrow." He says at length.  
  
"It should be a relatively easy procedure." I reply, somehow knowing there was more to this than that.  
  
"Yeah, it should." Randy agrees. "But Wilson, I'm not sure what to do."   
  
"Do about what?" He's quite again, and he leans against the fence a little.  
  
"How to tell the rest of my family I don't want them all waiting when I come out of it." I have to admit I'm not wholly surprised by this. I study his face and after a few moments he breaks eye contact with me, looking away guiltily. "I know, that's horrible of me."  
  
"Oh, no." I quickly assure him. "Its not horrible of you."  
  
"Its not?"  
  
"No." I smile gently at him. "If you think it would be easier for you if they all aren't there, then they should willingly abide that."  
  
"Its not just that." Randy training his eyes on his hands which grip the fence.  
  
"Oh?" He heaves a body shaking sigh and turns brings his eyes to meet mine again.  
  
"Everyone is so worried, and I don't like that I'm the cause of it. It might be best for everyone if they didn't have to be there." I watch him for a few seconds and his gazes snaps away from mine and he looks everywhere but at me.  
  
"Randy, they're worried because their your family and they love you. You need to talk to them if you feel this way."  
  
"I know I'm being selfish, but-"  
  
"Your not being selfish." I cut in. "Your scared. That's understandable, and your uncomfortable because your family is scared for you." He seems to mull this over a few minutes before pushing himself away from the fence.  
  
"Thanks Wilson."  
  
"Anytime." I reply as I watch him retreat into the house. I watch him as he disappears through the glass doors and stops to talk to Brad. I've now spoken to every single member of the Taylor household and as much as I'd like to say this doesn't effect me, it does. I chew on my lower lip and turn back to the project I had been working on which suddenly didn't seem so appealing. Grabbing up some of my tools I move to the house, pondering over the predicament the Taylor's now face. 


	9. Suffocate

Disclaimer- Is anyone still questioning if they belong to me or not? If they are, then the answer is still no  
  
Author Notes- Don't worry Amy, Al has figured it out. ;) Thanks to people who review, and to the person who privatly emailed me you know who you are, I'm so very sorry if my time isn't spent to your liking (note the heavy sarcasm), but I write when I want to, and if you don't want to read the story anymore, that's fine. Its not like you ever reviewed it anyway. With that said, those of you who are wonderfully nice and leave me reviews, go ahead and read on.  
  
Chapter 9- Suffocate (Marks POV)  
  
Its weird for me to have to sit at home and wait. When Randy announced he didn't want us all to go and wait at the hospital, I was hurt. Then I got angry, and then after that, I suppose I got to rational. I wouldn't want my entire family anxiously pacing around the hospital waiting room either. He told Brad when he protested that he felt bad enough for having to put us all through this anyway. His argument was weak and he knew it, but once mom saw he meant it, she told us that she and dad would go down there with him and call us when they knew something. Randy even tried to convince Dad to go to work and just let mom take him. There was hardly an argument there as dad said no in the way that you just don't argue with. He called Al, who had long since figured out mom wasn't having an affair with the milkman, and immediately agreed to host tool time alone tomorrow. So that leaves me now watching as Brad stalks around the living room.  
  
"Would you stop, your making me sick!" I snap, and he turns to look at me before resuming his walk.  
  
"They should have called by now." Brad mutters. I sigh and look away from him, steadying my gaze on the countertop. I really wish someone would call. Brad's voice suddenly breaks into my thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I asked if you wanted a snack?" He's staring at me and I nod even though I'm not really hungry. Brad walks quickly into the kitchen and starts pulling open cabinets. "What do you want?"  
  
"Something sweet." I reply watching as he snatches down the cookies.   
  
"Drink?"  
  
"Milk." He pulls out two glasses and the milk setting them in front of me. As he goes to get a plate for the cookies I pour two glasses of milk. He sets the cookies up next to me, puts the milk back in the fridge and climbs onto the chair next to me. The only sound is the occasional gulp of milk or crunch of cookie.  
  
"I'm sorry about the other night." Brad says at length. Ah, the Taylor tradition continues, give someone a cookie and they spill their guts. "Your right, you just as much Randy's brother as I am."  
  
"I shouldn't have snapped at him." I admit. "I know Randy handles things by making jokes." Brad nods.  
  
"We're in a tough situation here." Brad says staring at the cookie in his hand. "I know I want to be at the hospital right now, and I want to be there for him, but I have to remind myself that right now, it isn't about what I want to do. Right now I have to be the older brother, and I have to do what he asks."  
  
"You don't have to." I say without meaning too.  
  
"Your right, I don't have to, but I will because I'm his brother and he needs support right now. Even if it is from the house." Can't argue with that point, but I still don't like it.   
  
"I don't like that." I announce.  
  
"Don't like what?" He asks in surprise.  
  
"That the only way we can support him is from the house. I want to be down there Brad, I mean Randy is having surgery, and we're here!"  
  
"This is where he wants us to be." Brad replies quietly.   
  
"I know, but I can't help but feel that we're just sitting here!"  
  
"We're not." I look at him surprised. "Just because we're not down there doesn't mean any less of our hope that he'll be okay isn't making it to him." That sounds a little weird coming from Brad but I don't say anything. I rather like what he said. We sit in silence, and I wonder if the same feeling of dread that seems to suffocate me is suffocating him as well. The crunch of a cookie startles me and I glance over at Brad who can't help but snicker a little at my surprised expression. The phone rings and we glance at each other before we each make a wild lunge for it. Brad snatches it up first and heart in throat I hear him greet our mother.  
  
  
Okay, that's it for chapter 9. It might be a little while until I get chapter 10 out because I'll be really busy for the next week or so, but I'll do my best to try and get it out as quickly as possible. 


	10. Bad Karma

Disclaimer- Whoa, guess what, I made an offer, and.......They turned me down. So they're still not mine.   
  
Author Notes- Thanks to everyone who reviews. I love you guys! And Amy, don't worry, I will be going deeper into how Al found out, just not yet. Remember, I never said he knew what was happening, only that he knew Jill wasn't having an affair with the milkman, he's scene will be coming up next chapter. Which brings me to, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be coming. I'm posting this when I should be doing something else, so I'll get chapter 11 out when I can.   
  
Chapter 10- Bad Karma (Randy's POV)  
  
You know that feeling when your awake but your not? As in your eyes are still closed and your breathing is still labored but you know what's going on around you? That's what I'm doing right now. I can tell mom is sitting beside the bed holding my hand cause her nails are resting on my skin I can hear the rustle of clothing and I think dad must be pacing beside me. With all the energy I can find I focus it on prying my eyelids open.  
  
"Hi Honey." Mom smiles down at me and I blink slowly.  
  
"Hey Pal." Dad materializes on the opposite side.   
  
"Hi." I squeak out. Man my throat is killing me.  
  
"Don't try and talk honey, the doctor said your throat is gonna hurt for a few days." I nod and Mom smiles at me. "I'm gonna call your brothers, I'll be back in a few minutes." Dad plops down in the chair.  
  
"Its been a long time since I saw a hospital room from this point of view." I can't help but smile a little at that.   
  
"I could say the same." I groan. Glancing around its like your average everyday hospital room. The IV bag is hanging off one side, but I notice another wire and follow it up to the monitor and look at dad quizzically.  
  
"It monitors your heartbeat or something. That thing on your finger makes sure your still breathing." I look down at the finger clamp. Of course I'm breathing I could take this thing off. Of course common knowledge wins out and I know if I take it off it'll send doctors and nurses into the room. Lets avoid that.  
  
"When can I go home?" I rasp out.  
  
"Not sure, that depends on what the doctor says." I nod a little and turn my head away. I know my brothers are angry. They both wanted to be here. I don't know why, this place is horrible. I'm starting to hate hospitals, not the kind of hate like the displeasure able, but the type of hate that dwells deep within you. Like in your bone marrow or something. I'm getting sleepy again and I think they must have me pretty drugged up. I glance over at dad again, who gives me a look that clearly tells me to go to sleep, so I obey.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
Its been nearly two days and I finally get to come home. Finally reaching the entrance I climb out of the wheelchair they insist you leave out of, and see the family waiting for me. Mom jumps up and makes as if she's going to try and help me to the car.  
  
"I got it." I say with a brief smile and she backs off a little.  
  
"Hey Bro." Brad says with a grin as he yanks open the backseat door. "You may have told us not to wait for you in the hospital."  
  
"But ya never said we couldn't come to pick you up!" Mark finishes from where he sits in the car. I smirk a bit at them and slowly climb into the car. I'm in the middle, and I must admit I'm feeling boxed in. I understand my family wants to help me, and I really do love them for it, but I just want to have some room to be on my own. I'm so tired of having people check up on me every few minutes, that my family's glances of concern are getting to be an annoyance. It suddenly dawns on me how horrible a thing that is to think. About my family who loves me and wants to help me no less! I draw in a shaky breath and try and calm my jittery thoughts in the whirlwind that's going around in my mind. This is my family and they're worried. I shouldn't be so calloused, I mean its my fault they're so freaked out to begin with. My doctor keeps saying that this isn't my fault, that cancer isn't some type of karmatic punishment, but you know what? I don't believe her. I think this is my punishment. For what, I haven't exactly come to grips with yet, but I will. And until then, I'll sit and let mom fuss, and let dad tell me everything is going to be fine, and let Brad and Mark fight and bicker and watch me like I might die if they look away. What else can I do? Its all my fault anyhow. Dad's voice breaks through my internal monologue  
  
"Home sweet home."  
  
"How's it feel to be home sweetie?" Mom asks twisting around in her seat to look at me, I plaster on a fake smile.  
  
"Great." I reply with fake enthusiasm. I am glad to be home, really I am, but it'll be like the hospital. They'll watch me. I guess I deserve it. Bad Karma you know.   
  
Okay that's it for Chapter 10, as I said in my Author notes, I'm not sure when I can get 11 out, but I'll see how I can work it. I know what I want to do, its finding the time to write it that's the problem. So once I find time, you'll get chapter 11. If you even care that is. 


	11. Not A Milkman

Disclaimer- I'm sick of writing these things, theyd on't belong to me.  
  
Author Notes- Okay sorry for the lag, but Chapter 11 is now out. Thanks to my loyal reviewers!  
  
Chapter 11- Not A Milkman (Al's POV)  
  
Tim walks into the studio and I know this is the chance I've been waiting for. I haven't seen him in a few days so now is my chance.  
"Tim!" He pauses and waits for me to catch up.  
"Hey Al, how'd the show go?"  
"Just fine....Tim what's going on? Its not a milkman." He sighs and fidgets. "Tim, I always tried to be your friend, let me help."   
"I've been spending time with the family." I nod and he sighs. "Randy's sick." There's some thing about the way he says that that sets off alarms in my head.  
"What do you mean sick?"  
"Its cancer Al." Boy I hadn't seen that one coming. It feels like he sucker punched me. He looks away and I set my hand down on the rack of hammers for today's show to help steady myself.  
"Oh Tim, I'm so sorry."  
"Thanks buddy." Tim mumbles.  
"C-can I ask how serious it is?" I trip over my words and shake my head to try and clear the fog away.  
"It started on his thyroid, and its spread to his throat."  
"Oh Tim, I'm so sorry." Tim nods and I feel my voice catch in my throat. "He'll be okay won't he?"  
"I hope so." Tim sighs and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "He just had part of his thyroid taken out. They're going to start him on radiation soon."  
"Poor kid." I murmur. They don't deserve this, the Taylor family does not deserve to go through this pain.  
"Lets just try to make today's show a good one." Tim breaks into my thoughts then and I nod trying to force a smile onto my face.  
"Okay Tim." I say automatically trying to busy myself with the preparations.  
*****************************************************************  
The show hadn't been as good as it normally would have been, but of course Tim has his reasons and I have mine. We're backstage now and Tim shakes off his jacket  
"That could have gone better." He says simply.  
"It could have gone worse." I reply with forced cheerfulness. He looks to me in annoyance and then drops his eyes down to the table.   
"Tim, there's a message for you." Heidi says as she passes by, handing it to him.  
"Thanks Heidi." He wanders off and she looks at me in concern.  
"Is he okay?"  
"No, I don't think he is."  
"Is anything the matter?"  
"He's having some problems with his family." I reply. There that should be enough information to ease her curiosity without giving out information I'm sure Tim wants to keep quiet.  
"Oh, that's really a shame." Heidi replies, her face pulling into a sympathetic grimace. "Is it him and Jill?"  
"I'm not really sure." I'm lying, I hate to lie, but I don't think Tim wants a lot of people to know about this. She looks appeased for the time being and her hand lands on my shoulder.  
"I'll see you tomorrow Al."  
"Yeah, bye Heidi." She heads off and I'm left alone to my thoughts. I haven't been able to think about much else since what he told me before the show. How the rest of the family must be taking this. Jill must be devastated. Maybe I should call. Right now I don't know what I should do, all I know for sure is that the Taylor family is suffering, and there isn't much anyone can do to stop it. All I can do is offer support to them when they need it. I'm sure they speak to Wilson, he'll help them however he can, I just need to figure out how to help them in my own way, and eventually, I'll figure it out. 


	12. Sacked Out

Disclaimer-Both these things start to get to be a real pain in the arse after a while. Trust me, I don't own em.  
  
Author Notes- Chapter 12. Sorry it took so long to get out, but here it is. Hopefully I'll be getting a bit more free time and I'll be able to work on more chapters sooner. I hope you enjoy this!  
  
Chapter 12- Sacked Out (Jill's POV)  
  
I want to talk to Randy, ever since we brought him home he's become almost reclusive. I need to talk to him to see what I can do to help him. Quietly peeking into Randy's bedroom and find him sacked out on his bed. He's laying on his stomach a school book out in front of him, and he's out cold. One arm dangles off the bed and I approach quietly. I pull the book away from him and close it, putting it on the nightstand. I take his arm gently in my hands and place it on the bed beside him. I move to the end of the bed and pull his blanket up over him. He looks so young, sleeping there like that. I can't help brushing his hair away from his face. He doesn't even move. The expression dead to the world comes to mind, and I shudder at the thought. I stand there a few moments longer, just watching him. I finally manage to tear my eyes away from my sleeping son. He's never done anything to deserve this. I sigh and walk out hitting the light switch on my way. I pad quietly up stairs. Though Tim could have been up after a night of polish food and I doubt Randy would have stirred. I enter the kitchen, head to the big French doors and walk out to talk to Wilson.  
  
"Hey Wilson."  
  
"Hiedy-ho neighborette."  
  
"Can I talk to you?"  
  
"Certainly. What can I do you for?"   
  
"What do you know about chemotherapy?" He fixes a gaze on me. I know that look, its the oh boy a question I don't wanna answer look.  
  
"Randy has to start on it soon."  
  
"Well Jill, to be honest with you, its not a pleasant experience."  
  
"Will he be in pain?"   
  
"He'll experience nausea, and lose his hair, and they're might be mornings when he'll be to ill to get out of bed."  
  
"Answer my question Wilson, please. Will he be in pain?"  
  
"Jill, for what I've seen, chemotherapy does cause a moderate amount of pain."  
  
"And he'll be sick, and lose his hair...." I trail off.  
  
"Its better than losing his life Jill." Wilson's words are very gently spoken, and I feel tears come to my eyes.  
  
"Its not fair Wilson." I slump down the fence a little, settling into the lawn chair. I can hear the shuffling of leaves, and suddenly Wilson is beside me. I draw my legs up a little and he sits on the end of the chair.  
  
"Jill, it's going to be very hard for everyone concerned to see this. You in particular because you are his mother. You aren't going to be strong all the time, but you'll have to try."  
  
"But I don't know how!" I cry, brushing my hand across my eyes and Wilson leans forward and puts his hand gently on him arm.  
  
"You'll learn." That's all he says and he stands up.  
  
"Thanks Wilson." He nods, smiles at me gently, and moves back into his own yard.  
  
"Feel free to come to me whenever you need to." He calls as he retreats.  
  
"Thank you again." I reply as I walk back into the house. As I walk in, I see Randy's bedroom door open, and I plaster a smile on my face. "Hey there."  
  
"Hey." He smiles somewhat tiredly at me. "Did you move my history book?"  
  
"Yeah, you were sleeping, so I moved it, hope you don't mind."  
  
"No, I just thought I was losing it for a minute." Randy replies, stretching a little.  
  
"Can we talk?" I ask and he seems to freeze momentarily before nodding his affirmative answer. I pull out some cookies and set them on the table.  
  
"I'm not spilling my guts." He says as he sits. I laugh half heartedly, and sit across from him.  
  
"Do you want to tell me if anything's bothering you?" He looks like a trapped animal for a second before plastering a clearly forced smile on his face.  
  
"No, nothings bother me." I can't force him to talk to me. "I should get back to history." I hand him the plate of cookies and he quirks a half smile at me.  
  
"Just don't spoil your dinner." And he walks away. Whatever is bothering him, he'll have to come to terms with and talk about in his own good time. 


	13. The Easy Lie

Disclaimer- Still not mine.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to Peanut who has taken to beta reading for me, I appreicate it kid! A special thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love you guys!  
  
Chapter 13- An Easy Lie (Brad's POV)  
  
The effects of the chemo had become painfully obvious. Randy didn't seem to react badly at first, but as time went on, and as the doctors continued to up the dosage, the effects were becoming more and more clear. It also became clear Randy tried harder and harder to hide them. He and I are the only ones home today, Mom took Mark shopping and Dad is at the hardware store. Randy lay crumpled against the side of the couch, and I sit on the other end.  
  
"I can move to the chair if you'd like to spread out."  
  
"No, I'm good." We've fallen into a companionable silence and focus our attention on the movie we'd rented the day before. I let out a loud snicker and glance over at him, to find he's looking a bit green.  
  
"Randy?"  
  
"Excuse me." He replies, bolting from the room. We've gotten use to this, so I hit pause on the remote, quickly grab some soda and some saltine crackers and wait for him at the counter. He returns, smiles at me sheepishly and gratefully accepts the plate and glass. "Sorry."  
  
"Hey, nothing to be sorry for." I reply with a tight smile. He's still embarrassed when it happens. He can't help it, and we try to just have something to settle his stomach ready when he wanders back, but I can tell that it bothers him.  
  
"What did I miss in the movie?" Randy asks, with an obvious attempt to pull the conversation and thoughts away from himself.  
  
"I put it on pause."  
  
"You didn't have to do that."  
  
"I know, but I did." We settle back into the room, falling this time into a slightly uncomfortable silence as I restart the movie. My attentions are only half on the movie. For the most part my attention seems to be fixated on Randy, who seems to fight to stay awake. He lost a lot of weight since he's started the Chemo, and there have been a few days he couldn't go to school because he was so ill. All of his teachers knew of the situation, so if he suddenly got nauseated, they didn't mind if he slipped from the room. He'd been hospitalized once, after passing out at school. I'd never been so scared when a student aid hurried into the room and my teacher excused me.   
  
"What are you thinking about?" Randy asks suddenly.  
  
"Soccer." I reply, an easy lie that slips off my tongue, and I hope he buys it. Its clear by the look on his face, he doesn't.  
  
"I've never seen you look like that when you think about Soccer."  
  
"I have a game coming up, I'm a little worried about it is all." Another lie, this time however, Randy has either given up, or accepts the explanation, its hard to tell which by the look on his face.  
  
"I'm going to go." He says and I know my smile is only half assed at best. I want him there, I do, but I'm worried. Apparently he can see this. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."  
  
"Will Mark go?" There's a long pause before Randy shrugs.  
  
"I don't know, he might not if I'm there." I feel a pang of guilt for Randy then. He didn't really know why Mark avoided him so. I knew, only because I cornered him and forced it out of him. He fears hurting Randy in anyway, whether it be physical or emotional. He doesn't know that keeping his distance probably hurts him more than anything he could say to him.  
  
"He's not avoiding you because your sick." I say at last. Randy simply watches me with dull eyes. I don't know if I should say anything else, but the look on Randy's face convinces me that he should know Mark doesn't mean to hurt him. "He's afraid of hurting you in some way. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing or move the wrong way to jostle you and cause you anymore pain than your already in." Randy's eyes soften at this.  
  
"He shouldn't worry about it." He replies at length. "I'm sorry I scare him, but I think I really should talk to him about it." I can only nod in agreement, and hope that things work out. Mark and Randy had never been close, and the two never got along all that well, but we're still family, and we need to stick together right now. Randy lets out a small yawn that he tries to stifle and shakes his head.  
  
"Why don't you go lie down, I'll have Mark go down and talk to you when he gets home." Randy smiles and nods his agreement, and shuffles down to the basement, the video long forgotten. 


	14. I Know

Disclaimer- They still don't belong to me.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to Peanut for beta reading for me.  
  
This chapter is for Amy, my most loyal reviewer, thanks!  
  
Chapter 14 - I Know (Mark's POV)  
  
I hesitate outside the door. Brad had pulled me aside when I got home and quickly spilled the story that Randy thought I was avoiding him because he was sick, and that I should talk to him. I would have said that I would, and then put it off, but then Brad added that he was waiting for me now. Taking a deep breath I knock.  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Hey." I curse my voice as it hitches slightly. He looks up from the book in front of him, and part of me hopes he'll tell me to come back after he's done with his homework. He doesn't. He closes the book quickly, and rolls so he's sitting up and motions for me to sit down. I take his computer chair and swivel it so I can look at him.  
  
"Mark..." He starts, but I quickly raise my hand.  
  
"Wait, can I say what I need to first?" He nods, and fixes his eyes on me.  
  
"Go ahead." I take a deep breath and try and gather my courage.  
  
"I'm not avoiding you because your sick."  
  
"I know." He replies quietly.  
  
"I shouldn't be avoiding you, and I'm sorry." I continue "but, I just get nervous that I'll say the wrong thing, or I'll move the wrong way, and I just don't want to hurt you anymore." He's quiet for a minute.  
  
"I understand that," He replies at last. "But it hurt that you avoided me." I duck my head a little, and I can feel Randy's gaze still on me.  
  
"I didn't mean too." I say at last. "The last thing I wanted to do, I ended up doing."  
  
"I appreciate that you were trying to be so considerate Mark, I really do, but you shouldn't be afraid to come near me because of it."  
  
"I just didn't want to do anything else to upset you." I say softly.  
  
"I know." He's being so understanding. I sigh and lean back in the computer chair and take a minute to study him. He seems pale, and perhaps a little green around the edges. I think he's having one of his bad days. I've only heard of chemo therapy, and seen it in movies, and all that is, is a vague glamorized version of what it is. In the movies, they don't show when the person is so sick they can barely stand. Nor do they show when the person hurts so badly it hurts you to have to watch them try and function. They show you none of that in the movies. The movies show a toned down version. He flinches a little under my gaze, and I advert my eyes.  
  
"Are you up to going to the game tomorrow?" I ask in concern.  
  
"I'll be all right, besides I've never been to one of his games."  
  
"I thought you didn't care about the games."  
  
"I don't, but I thought it might be nice to go and be supportive for a change." I'm not sure how to answer that. I sit slightly stunned, and wait for him to continue, he however, isn't meeting my eyes anymore. He's looking at his bed, drawing little marks on his quilt with his finger. He looks so tired all of a sudden. Like talking has totally worn him out.  
  
"You know, he'd understand if you didn't go." I say at last, for some reason, I don't want him to go. Something nags at the back of my mind that he shouldn't go.  
  
"I know." I'm starting to wish he'd say something else. I'm suddenly very uncomfortable in his presence. Like I've intruded on time he could be using to sleep.  
  
"Well, I'm going to go upstairs. If you do go to the game tomorrow-"  
  
"I'll buy you a hot dog." Randy said with a slight smirk. I can't help but grin a little back.  
  
"Its a deal. I'll let you get back to your homework." Randy nods his head and reaches for his book, rolling on this stomach in the process. He seems painfully thin to me, and I shift my eyes towards the stairs.  
  
"Bye." I offer weakly as he glances up.  
  
"Bye Mark, and don't worry so much, I'm fine." As I ascend the stairs, I can only think of what an overstatement that is. He is many things, but right now, fine is defiantly 


	15. Mistake

Disclaimer- Not mine.  
  
Author Notes- Here we go, more story, sorry for the delay. Thanks to peanut for being my beta reader and making sure my words sound right.  
  
Chapter 15- Mistake (Randy's POV)  
  
I woke up feeling less than stellar. I'm not wholly surprised as I went to bed feeling just as bad. Taking a deep soothing breath, I fight down the slight nausea and change, heading for the top of the stairs. I take a moment at the top to catch my breath before entering the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning sweetie." Mom says as she smiles.  
  
"Morning." I reply attempting to stifle a yawn.  
  
"Brad says you want to go to the game today." I know what she's doing, she's dancing around the real topic, with one that is close to it.  
  
"Yeah." I reply simply.  
  
"I don't know if that's a good idea."  
  
"Mom," I sigh in frustration. "Please, I'm not helpless, I'm not contagious, I just want to go watch Brad play Soccer." She's quiet for a few moments before she nods her consent.  
  
"All right, but if you feel bad at all, you let us know right away. Your dad and I will both be there, so one of us can take you home." I smile and nod in agreement.  
  
"You got it."  
  
***********************************************************  
  
The game was more exciting than I thought it was going to be, and I must admit, I didn't give soccer a fair shot when I judged it. Mark turned to me suddenly.  
  
"So Randy, where's my hot dog?" He ribs lightly, and I laugh.  
  
"Wave him down." I reply fishing around in my pocket. I tried to cover up the sudden shot of pain, but failed. Both mom and Mark turned to me in concern.  
  
"Honey?"  
  
"Randy?" I gasped for just second to try and get my breathing under control, and found before I could even process how he did it, Brad standing in front of me, all three wearing identical looks of concern. I can't seem to get my breath back, and think to myself what bad timing this is. The chemo was known for on occasion causing brief bouts of pain as the dosages were kicking in.  
  
"S'okay." I managed to sit upright once more.  
  
"I don't think so, we're going home." Mom said in a tone that brooked no argument. Without a word, I stood, shooting an apologetic glance at Brad.  
  
"Sorry....good luck!" I call as Mom drags me away, we pass Dad as we go, who had only just gotten there. He guessed what had happened.  
  
"Do you want me to take him?"  
  
"No that's okay, go sit with Mark, I'll take him."  
  
"Is he okay?"  
  
"He is standing right here you guys." I butt in, I hate it when they talk about me like I'm not there. They both glance at me before, Mom kisses dad on the cheek, and continues hauling me off to the car. Feeling a little nausea again I quickly wrenched my hand away from my mother. She turns to me surprised as I step back from her.  
  
"Honey?"  
  
"Wait a second." I reply, trying to take soothing breaths to squelch my nausea. She waits patiently. I'm feeling worse than before, sort of light headed and woozy. I realize with growing alarm that the nausea isn't going away, and coupled with the light headedness, I won't stay on my feet much longer.  
  
"Mom?" I managed out, and she's by my side in an instant. "I think I may have made a mistake coming out here."   
  
"Come on honey, I'll take you to the hospital." She helps me get to the car, and we make it just in time as when I am safely in the car, a pain shudders through me, and I pass out.  
  
Okay another chapter done...since I left you guys on cliffhanger, I'll try and get chapter 16 out as fast as I can. 


	16. Don’t Deserve This

Disclaimer- Not Mine!  
  
Author Notes- Sorry for the delay. Thanks to Peanut for Beta Reading.  
  
Chapter 16- Don't Deserve This (Tim's POV)  
  
It's hard for a parent to accept their child is growing up. I try and come to terms with it, as my boys get older. However, now, watching Randy sleeping like he is, he looks so much like the little boy he once was. I brush some of his hair off his face, and he doesn't move at all. His breathing is deep and labored, but his eyes twitch slightly under their closed lids. I had gone home with the boys and found a message on the machine from Jill that said I needed to come right to the hospital. I study the IV that enters his hand and flinch at the slight bruise that seemed to fray around the edge of the tape.  
  
"He looks bad." Brad comments from my elbow. I jump, forgetting he was in the room with me.  
  
"Their running tests to see what's going on." I reply, Brad nods and settles into a chair nearby.  
  
"He's going to feel bad about leaving the game you know." I glance at my oldest son who has taken to studying his hands. "He won't just brush it off, its gonna bother him." I don't know how to answer him, so I simply change my gaze to Randy. He shifts in his sleep and I sigh.  
  
"Your mom is gonna take you and Mark home in a little while." I finally say, thinking of nothing else.  
  
"Are you staying here with Randy?"  
  
"Yeah." Brad nods and its then the doctor walks in, Jill and Mark on his heels.  
  
"Hello." There's something in his voice....I stiffen and Jill comes to stand at my side. Mark hovers in the doorway.   
  
"How is he?" Jill asks and I put my arm around her.  
  
"Please, have a seat." You know that feeling of unease you can get right before you find out something really bad? A big block of that just fell into the pit of my stomach. I glance uneasily at Jill, her eyes wide with alarm.  
  
"Randy isn't responding to the chemotherapy the way we would like." He begins.  
  
"What's that mean?" Jill demands.  
  
"I'm sorry, he's just not getting any better." I never thought they're could be sheer silence, but at that moment, I couldn't hear a thing, not even Randy's labored breathing or the beeps of machines. Not a sound. I shook my head violently, causing my deafness to dissolve and turned panicked eyes to the doctor.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Brad asks, once again making his presence known to the others in the room.  
  
"There really isn't anything more I can do." He says sadly, watching us with sympathetic eyes. "We can just make him as comfortable as we can."  
  
"He's going to die." Mark's voice is so dull and void of emotion I'm startled into looking in his direction.  
  
"I'm sorry. If you have any further questions I'd be glad to answer them." Jill immediately launches into questions, several all at once. I'm, for once in my life, absolutely speechless. My eyes fell away from the doctor who just said what I never believed I would hear. My gaze fixes on my son. He's still sleeping. Does he know? Could he have known? I watch his chest rise and fall, and how young he looks sleeping. No parent should outlive their child. This can't be happening to us. He doesn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. I hear Jill's broken sobs and absently pull her to me. I glance to the rest of my family. Brad has gone positively translucent, his eyes anguished. He stares at the wall, but his eyes are empty of sight.. Mark is gone, where he's gone to, I'm not sure, but Mark's always been a little more sensitive than the other two boys. The doctor apologizes to us one last time and quietly slips away.  
  
"I should call Al." I murmur absently. Jill releases me and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Brad suddenly snaps out of his stupor and sinks into a chair by Randy's bedside. I squeeze Jill's hand reassuringly, though I have no assurance myself. I slowly walk from the room and towards the pay phones. I quickly deposit the money and dial Al's number. I get the machine.  
  
"Hi Al, its Tim....I need you to do Tool Time solo for a while," My voice cracked. "I'll call you later." And hung up before I have to fight my tears back down. This isn't fair. We don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this. I shouldn't have to lose my son to a sickness that struck suddenly and without warning. I shouldn't have to outlive my child. My mind completely shuts down on me then. Tears burst forward before I can stop them and I sink into the nearest chair. Head in hands, I cry harder than I've ever cried before. Moment's later, Jill is by my side, and we cry together. 


	17. Why Does It Always Have to Be Him?

Disclaimer- Don't Own Em.  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to Peanut for beta Reading.   
  
Chapter 17- Why Does It Always Have to Be Him? (Brad's POV)  
  
No....God no....why? Why Randy, why now? This can't be happening. Not to him, not to our family. God please, don't do this....please! I never understood fully why people were religious, we went to church on holidays, but we weren't exactly religious. I never doubted you existed though. I never doubted you knew best. Until now that is. Why are you doing this to us? Why him, why does it always have to be him? Don't make me hate you God, don't take him from us. Not after we went through so much. Not after he suffered so much.  
  
"Brad?" I glance down and see Randy looking up at me. His eyes tried and sad.  
  
"Hey." I try and smile.  
  
"I'm dying, aren't I." He knows, how did he know?  
  
"Randy-"  
  
"No, it's okay." He breaks in offering me a slight smile. "I'm not scared." My mind screams I'm scared. I'm more scared than I've ever been. Randy coughs then and draws my fully attention back to him.  
  
"Your not scared?" Is the only thing I can say.  
  
"No." He almost looks serene. I don't like this, not at all. I can't just sit by and watch my brother die. It can't work like that. This isn't fair, god please don't make him go! He looks so tired.  
  
"Go back to sleep Randy." He smiles and obeys the request. I watch as he drops off almost immediately. Don't go Randy, please fight just a little longer, please. God, don't do this....please don't take him. Not now, damn it, not after so much. Mom and Dad left a little while ago, I think their in the waiting room, and as for Mark, well I don't know where he went. Mark has his own way of dealing with things and right now I guess he just needs to be alone. I myself could use some time alone, and stand, glancing back at Randy once before fleeing out the double doors.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
I round the corner, and find Mark facing the soda machine.  
  
"Mark?"  
  
"I can't be in there Brad....I just can't." His voice breaks and I move forward.  
  
"I can't either." I say, by way of understanding. "This can't be happening."  
  
"But it is." Mark replies turning to look at me. "He's going to die....wasn't this suppose to be treatable?"   
  
"He woke up for a little bit." I tell him.  
  
"Did you tell him?"  
  
"He already knew. He woke up and said I'm dying, aren't I."  
  
"This isn't fair."  
  
"I know." He turns to me, his eyes bright with anger and tears.  
  
"This wasn't suppose to happen! He was suppose to be okay! He was suppose to be stronger because of this experience, he was suppose to live!" Mark's voice breaks off and he stares at me.  
  
"Mark..."  
  
"It shouldn't have to be Randy." He turns his back on me then, to try and shield his tears I imagine. Quickly I step forward and put my hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Mark, I know how you feel. Really I do." He's quiet before he suddenly turns to look at me.  
  
"How is he taking it?" I bite my lip  
  
"He says he's not scared."  
  
"I'm scared." Mark says softly.   
  
"I am too." I admit. Mark wipes a shaking hand across his eyes and sets his gaze on me once more.  
  
"I don't understand why it has to be our family. What did we do to deserve this?" He asks softly.  
  
"Mark....sometimes these things just happen."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"I don't know....sometimes people just die."  
  
"Why Randy? Why our brother?"  
  
"I can't answer that for you, I don't know." Mark stared at me for a moment.  
  
"Wasn't he suppose to get a happy ending?" 


	18. So Tired

Disclaimer- Not Mine.  
  
Author Notes- Peanut, who was my normal beta reader, sorry for not running these by you, but I was so thrilled to actually finish the story I just posted it. Hope this is to everyone's liking!  
Chapter 18- So Tired. (Jill's POV)  
  
We brought Randy home. He requested to die at home rather than in the hospital, and Tim and I decided we could not deny him this last request. When the chemo was not working, we tried a few other options, but nothing worked out. Slowly it had spread to his lungs. All we could do now is make him comfortable. I try to be strong during the day, show him, we love him until the end. He's become painfully thin, his hair has all fallen out, and he sleeps most of the day, tiring out so easily. The end is close, I think we can all feel it. He's laying on the couch, watching tool time, through half closed eyes. I think he's fighting to stay awake.  
  
"Honey, why don't you take a nap?"  
  
"I just took one." He replies barely moving.  
  
"What would you like for dinner?"  
  
"I'm not really hungry...."  
  
"Sweetie you really should eat."  
  
"I know." He pulls the blanket a little tighter around him.  
  
"How are you feeling today?"  
  
"Its not one of my better days." He admits, trying to conceal a yawn. I sigh slightly, and catch a glimpse of Wilson in the yard.  
  
"I'll be right back." Randy nods and I walk out.  
  
"Hidey-ho neighorette."  
  
"Hi Wilson."  
  
"How are things today?"  
  
"Not great....Wilson, I think the end is getting close."  
  
"Young Randy not doing well today?"  
  
"This makes a full week of a 'bad day'. I don't know what to do."  
  
"I'm sorry Jill...I don't know how to help you this time."  
  
"I know....Wilson?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How do you watch someone you love with all your heart die?" He makes no reply, he just crosses around the fence and lets me cry into his shoulder.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Its obvious Randy is standing on his last legs. He sleeps most of the day, and when he is awake, he is so tired he can barely communicate with you. Randy now has a oxygen feed to help him breath as he's becoming to weak to even do that. Brad is sitting with him in the living room, and I can see Randy is trying valiantly to keep his eyes open when Brad tells him about what went on in school. Randy's untouched plate of food sits on the table a few inches away from him. He's gone from a healthy weight, to far to thin, to now, where he's merely skin stretched over bones. His face is so pale, and his eyes are hallowed out into his skull. He's been moved permantly into the living room using the couch as a makeshift bed and rest of the family can keep a closer eye on him that way. Both his brothers have really kicked into overdrive with brotherly love, and have been sticking close to him. A wheezing cough drags my attention to the two boys and I quickly get a glass of water and hurry it across the room to Randy. The blood on his hand doesn't go unnoticed, but Brad and I say nothing as Randy silently wipes it off a Kleenex. When the cancer spread to his lungs, he had started to cough up blood, and it was then we knew the end was near. Tim took a leave of absence from Tool Time, I stopped working, and Brad didn't play soccer after school anymore. Brad and I stay with him as he drifts in and out of sleep for the rest of the afternoon, eventually being joined by Tim and Mark.  
  
"Al said Tool Time is going well." Tim says and Randy smiles tiredly.  
  
"You'll be able to go back soon." I think we all flinched as he said it. He yawns as widely as he can, and blinks tiredly.  
  
"Go to sleep Randy." Tim says, smiling the best he can. Randy nods and his eyelids drift shut. I glance at the rest of my family before trying to herd them to a very unenthused dinner. 


	19. Cry

Disclaimer- Not Mine.  
  
Author Notes- Peanut, who was my normal beta reader, sorry for not running these by you, but I was so thrilled to actually finish the story I just posted it. Hope this is to everyone's liking!  
  
Chapter 19- Cry (Marks' POV)  
  
Randy never woke up. He died on our couch at 7:30 pm while we were having dinner. Trying to arrange a funeral, I never knew so much was involved. Wilson and Al have been really helpful to us. I'm grateful, we could use all the help we can get. Since we're all reacting to his death in our own way, it makes organizing difficult. Mom, she cries a lot. Anything could set her off. A photo, a word, even the sight or smell of something could make her burst into tears. Dad's turned into mister serious. Its weird to see Mr. Jokester not joking around. He's serious all the time, he doesn't laugh or smile, or crack jokes anymore. Wilson said its the grieving process. Brad, he's all but reclusive. I can't blame him though, I feel bad for him. He cried when he found out he had died. Sometimes at night when I can't sleep, I take to walking the hallways and I can hear his muffled sobs. As for me? I don't feel much of anything. Its like I'm empty. Mom says its probably shock. I was the one who realized he was gone. After dinner on that fateful night I had gone in to check on him. He looked so peaceful. *To* peaceful. I remember gently reaching out and touching his hand. He was already cold. I think I screamed, because everyone ran in then. What happened after that, I don't know, its all kind of a blur. I vaguely remember the paramedics, and Wilson, and eventually Al as well. I think I stood with Brad when they took him away. I remember his tears. I didn't cry, I still haven't. I'm afraid, if I start, I might never stop.  
  
"Mark..." I look up into Wilson's kind eyes.   
  
"Wilson....when..."  
  
"I've been here most of the after noon." I feel his hand curl around my shoulder and squeeze lightly.   
  
"Wilson...I-" I stop, unsure of how to proceed.  
  
"Why haven't you cried yet Mark?"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I just can't." Wilson regards me in silence for a few moments, while both of us stare out at the animated discussion going on in the kitchen between my parents.  
  
"Its okay to cry for him Mark. He was your brother, you loved him. I'm not saying you should grieve forever, certainly not. However, I do think you have to let some form of your grief out. If you can't cry, however you express grief, do it that way, but don't hold it in to long, you'll never be able to let him go if you do."  
  
"I don't want to let him go Wilson....what if I forget him?" Wilson's eyes clearly read what he was thinking, and his kind smile almost hurt me to see, he understood perfectly what I was trying to say even if it wasn't coming out right.  
  
"You won't forget him Mark. It won't always hurt this much. Eventually, the pain will fade, but that won't mean you've forgotten him. It just means you can move on with your life." With that, he smiles one last time and stands, leaving me with my thoughts. After a few moments, I stand and join my parents in the discussion about the flowers that should be at his funeral.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Brad and I are growing closer. Its a natural thing I suppose, since Randy died, we've started hanging out more, talking more, and appreciating each other more. In fact, the whole family has become a closer knit unit. I always thought we were a close family, though at times it kinda felt like I was on the fringes until someone let me back in, but I realize now that was never the case. I put myself on the fringes, and had no one to blame but myself for being there. As horrible as it is for me to say, Randy's death was not totally in vain. Through his death, he showed us that just because you die, doesn't mean your forgotten or your life never happened or mattered. Randy will always live on with our family, and he'll always be a part of us. When people ask me how many siblings I have, I still say two, because in my heart, I do. 


	20. Epilogue

Disclaimer- Not Mine.  
  
Author Notes- Peanut, who was my normal beta reader, sorry for not running these by you, but I was so thrilled to actually finish the story I just posted it. Hope this is to everyone's liking!  
  
Chapter 20-Epilogue (Tim's POV)  
  
Weeks pass into months, and months into years, and slowly, the pain begins to recede. I doubt there will ever be a day where I don't wake up and pain pierce my heart that my son is gone, but I can live with it now. All of us have learned to adapt and cope with Randy's death.  
  
I've returned to Tool Time. Our ratings are better than ever, though I'm slightly more subdued. Al has been a tremendous help to be during all this, he was a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and most importantly, he was just there to be my friend. You never realize how good a friend is until they really come through for you in a clutch.  
  
Jill has gone back to school. She wants to be a psychologist, maybe she can help people through times such as these, with her first hand experience in what its like to lose a loved one to a diease that you can't always fight.  
  
Brad is back playing soccer, and is getting so good, that colleges are beginning to scout him. I go to his games whenever I can, and he always says, the goals he scores are for Randy. He's never really been quite the same since Randy died, but he's surviving.  
  
Mark, he's on the fast track of being a brilliant film director. His short films are well done, and very thought out. He told me once Randy was his inspiration to pick up the camera. I can only smile at the thought.  
  
Randy was only a child in my eyes when he died, but he touched all our lives. We loved him with all our hearts, and the pain will never fully fade, but that's alright. Sometimes its hard to remember all the good we had in his short life, but at others its all I can do not to laugh out loud at some of the stunts we pulled together.  
  
And I know he's safe. He's with my dad.  
  
The thought makes me smile and I close my eyes to go to sleep, content with the knowledge that for eternity, my son would be looked after. 


End file.
